Coaching is not …

There are a handful of other modalities that have similarity and overlap with coaching, but the following are not coaching.

• Mentoring: A mentor is a person who has done the thing you want to do. A mentor is often a role model. Mentoring is someone sharing their personal experience and giving you advice based on the mentor’s personal experience. When coaching a coach does not share their personal experience, rather relying on the experience of the client to draw examples of relatable success from the client’s past.

• Teaching: A teacher is an expert with knowledge who shares that knowledge with students who do not have that knowledge. Teaching is the transfer of ideas or principles from an authority figure. In teaching the teacher establishes the agenda or syllabus. In a coaching session a coach does not share their expert knowledge, but they do frequently share resources with the client. The client then uses those resources outside the coaching session to obtain the requisite knowledge. Furthermore, because coaching clients drive the agenda, the client can choose if that resource suits their need for knowledge acquisition.

• Therapy: Therapy is conducted by a psychotherapist who has years of specialized training in identifying and treating mental conditions. A coach has no ability to diagnose depression, anxiety, or any other mental condition; in fact, an important part of coach training is recognizing the need for a therapeutic referral. Many coaching clients say it feels like therapy when a coach asks about the source of a particular feeling and the client’s mind goes to a childhood experience. To a degree I understand this sentiment, but a therapist is evaluating the client’s response from a different perspective often related to healing, recovery, or mental illness. A coach’s exploration of that emotion is much more narrow, limited only to helping a client recognize the role of a past state that may not be relevant anymore.

• Consulting: Consultants specialize in a particular topic. As an expert on a particular topic a consultant provides advice and recommendations to a person, team, or organization. A coaches approach to consulting is similar to teaching, providing resources in the coaches area of specialty. Coaches also offer new ideas from time to time, but it is based on the client’s goals. Many coaches provide consulting services in parallel with coaching, but the two modalities are unique. For example, conducting an all-day workshop on emotional intelligence with a 20-person team would be considered consulting. A coaching modality would include working individually with a client who is trying to improve their emotional intelligence when a coach helps the client uncover their limitations vis-a-vis emotional intelligence.

• Friendship: Friends are people with whom we share a common affection or esteem. Friends are often happy to give advice. Friends are less likely to challenge limiting beliefs. Friends are not always objective. Friends can be judgmental. Coaching does not include advice or judgment and includes objectivity and pushes back against limiting beliefs.

Each of the modalities above are important and serve beneficial functions. Coaching simply approaches things differently. Depending on the goal or situation any of these modalities may be best suited and everyone can benefit from each at different points in life.